For sale: my 2024 Sprinter 2500 High Roof Extended cargo van. High-output diesel, fully loaded with every option the dealership would let me check.
First things first: this van is fucking enormous.
Need cargo space? Yes. Contractor? Perfect. Delivery business? Absolutely. Camper conversion? Build a tiny house in it, grow a beard, and disappear into a national forest. Mobile business? Sure. Want a climate-controlled German warehouse that can legally do 70 mph? Congratulations. I have your vehicle.
You can stand up inside it. You can walk around inside it. You can load an unreasonable amount of shit inside it. I have personally stood in the cargo area contemplating the series of financial decisions that resulted in me owning a large German rectangle.
High-output diesel. Runs and drives great. Body repairs are done. I’m selling it because I don’t need it anymore, and every month Mercedes takes another $1,250 from me for the privilege of walking outside and saying, “Yep. Van’s still there.”
THE IMPORTANT SHIT:
• 2024 Mercedes-Benz Sprinter 2500
• High Roof / Extended Length
• High-Output Diesel
• Cargo Van
• Brand-new tires
• Fully loaded with dealership options
• 360° camera system because this thing has the turning characteristics of a CVS
• Parking sensors and driver-assist features to help prevent you from accidentally annexing a Honda Civic
• An absolutely stupid amount of cargo space
• Runs and drives great
• Clean interior
• Tall enough to turn every parking garage entrance into a quick reading-comprehension exam
I’m happy to answer legitimate questions, send additional pictures, or provide more information.
Now, to save us both some time:
I am NOT interested in lease-to-own arrangements, payment takeovers, 60-day trials, crypto, exposure, business partnerships, your cousin’s landscaping trailer, four jet skis, seventeen firearms, a clapped-out Hellcat with “just a small tick,” or “$20k cash TODAY BRO.”
Cash does not become more valuable because you typed TODAY in capital letters.
If you have the funds and want a gigantic, fully loaded diesel Sprinter, message me.
$52,999
Please buy it.
I’m tired of paying for it.
I’m tired of looking at it.
The van has won.
Free me.